A Father’s Day Reflection

When we were in Sierra Leone, my father kept listening to “Compound” by the Sierra Leone artist, Adfega. It’s a great song, and I liked it when I first heard it. It quickly became his favorite. He would request it at clubs and even pay DJs to play it for him. He played it so much that I got sick of it. Imagine, every day you enter the car and hear that song over and over again, with my dad singing along loudly. Eventually, it became seared into my brain. My initial dislike transformed, and I started liking the song again. Now, whenever I hear this song, I think of my dad.

On this Father’s Day, I am sharing this video of us towards the end of my trip. We were driving by the Sierra Leone peninsula on a hot January day, and he asked me to play “Compound” once more. I groaned but ended up joining him, and it was so much fun. It’s one of those moments and memories I will cherish forever. Watching this video made me smile because it reminded me of the joy of singing it with him. I’m glad I recorded it.

Reflecting on this memory, I realize how these small, seemingly mundane moments hold deep significance. They remind me of the profound connection we share with our parents and how our identities are shaped by these experiences. My father’s persistence in playing this song was more than just a preference for a song; it was a way for us to bond, to create shared memories that transcend time and distance.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, I am reminded of the importance of cherishing these moments with our loved ones. They become a part of who we are, a thread in the fabric of our identity. Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I am grateful for the memories we’ve created and look forward to many more. 

She Was Fearless

When I shared the news of my grandmother's passing yesterday, many of you responded with kindness and thoughtfulness, for which I am truly grateful. 

Grandma Sarah was bold, courageous, and kind, seemingly unafraid of anything. This made me a little uneasy as a kid because I was so afraid of everything. She did not play. If she had a problem with you, she made sure you were aware of it and never pretended otherwise. If you disrespected her or her family, she ensured you never did it again. 

She was fearless. 

I looked at her in awe—her courage seemed so foreign to me, even though her daughter, my mother, is the same way. As a kid, I found her directness scary and uncomfortable, but as I've grown older and become more comfortable with the woman I am becoming, all I can do is admire her and hope to be more like her as I gain more wisdom and experience.

She was also extremely loving and caring. 

Grandma cooked for everyone—and I mean everyone. I can say that she's probably fed almost every Sierra Leonean in New Jersey, especially those in South Jersey and maybe even Philly. At her funeral, I witnessed her kindness even more profoundly when almost everyone who attended spoke of how she had saved them financially, paid for countless school fees, covered doctor visits, and supported christenings, baby showers, and baby clothes, among many other things. 

I saw how her children spoke of their individual relationships with her and how special each one was. I listened to grandchildren in Sierra Leone, who tried to be brave and hold back tears, speak of her and how much she meant to them. I connected with their suffering as I tried and failed to keep it together. 

I miss Gradnma Sarah dearly, and seeing her lay in her coffin broke my heart into pieces. I felt foreign emotions since this was my first real connection to death. During the civil war, I saw a lot of deaths—babies, the elderly, the young, etc.—but those deaths were outside of me. Although I felt extreme empathy for those lives, I was distant from the grief. My grandmother's passing was internal and personal, so I am still processing these emotions. I have so much I want to say, and maybe writing can help me process the grief that often washes over me at the most unexpected times. 

I am privileged to have felt her love while she was alive. I am grateful that she was my grandmother. 

I am grateful to carry (part of) her name with me. I know she would have been so proud of me—I know it.

Embracing the Journey: A Mindful Transition into 2024

As the year draws to a close and I prepare for a journey that holds profound significance, I find myself in a contemplative state. The lessons of 2023 have been instrumental, teaching me the value of releasing fear, relinquishing the need for control, and the beauty of embracing uncertainty.

My vision for 2024 is not just about growth but a reinvention of how I perceive, think, and communicate. I am committed to diving deeper within, meditating on taking intentional risks, and cultivating fearlessness. This journey is less about tangible achievements and more about inner evolution and self-discovery.

In the coming year, I intend to explore new modes of communication, transcending the conventional quest for answers. Naturally inclined towards the familiar, I want to embrace the unknown, guided by the wisdom of Taoist philosophy. Each day is an opportunity to welcome uncertainty, not with apprehension, but with open arms and a peaceful heart.

As someone who embraces hard work, my focus for the next year shifts from relentless efficiency to mindful presence. I want to appreciate the unexpected detours, embracing them as opportunities to pause and observe. It's a reminder that the journey's enjoyment is as significant as the destination itself.

In 2024, I am open to surprises and ready to follow new paths that life presents. Revisiting and revising my approaches might reveal better solutions than the original. This year is about transcending linear thinking and embracing inner work, creativity, meditation, and reflection.

Before I speak, I intend to connect deeply with my inner wisdom, ensuring that my words resonate with my core values and have the desired impact. This year is about connecting more profoundly with my experiences, speaking from a place of authenticity and insight.

As I step into 2024, I do so with a heart open to endless possibilities. I am ready to embrace the unknown, let go of the conventional, and embark on a journey of mindful exploration and personal growth. It's a year to be lived intentionally, embracing every moment as an opportunity to learn, grow, and transform.